It’s not uncommon for men to react negatively when it comes to getting help or counselling from a couples therapist. However, going to the right couple’s counsellor is the right thing to do to help and/or save the relationship. These professionals can assist couples who have issues with communicating and expressing themselves and what they think and feel about what’s causing issues with the relationship. Instead of walking away from the relationship, why not talk to Wendy Limarzi first.
Having a few sessions will be a big help. Here’s a short guide to thriving in couple’s therapy and what you can do to make the most of the experience.
Voice Your Side
Couple therapy should not be a personal attack. It’s about the both of you working together. Communication is one of the most common problems a couple could have. Both sides want to air out what they want to say, or one side does all the talking while the other one keeps quiet. Try to think back to a time where you were still dating. What were the things you enjoyed about her? How does she treat you differently now? Are there things that you think needs to be rekindled? You need to voice out your concerns so your therapist can help your partner understand your side a bit better.
The Truth May Hurt
Admit it. There are times when you just don’t want to tell the truth because you know that it hurts. Voicing out your side forces you to tell the truth, so go ahead and just say it. Couples that hide a lot of things from each other end up with deeper issues. If something is bothering you about your wife or girlfriend, then say it during your session with the couples counsellor. Keep in mind that this also goes both ways. You also have to be ready to accept certain truths about yourself that’s causing problems with your partner. Whether it’s about your personality or the way you manage the household chores or even how loud you snore, expect it to not always be pleasant.
Hearing is different from listening. Listening is when you actually give effort to understand what your partner is saying. The therapist is there to help you listen to each other and guide you to appreciate each other better. It’s also a chance for you to get to the bottom of the problem, instead of touching on the issue superficially. A couples counsellor main role is to assist you in finding a solution as a couple, one that you can maintain after treatment ends.
Men and Woman approach Problems Differently
Acknowledging that you have a problem is the first step to getting a problem solved. If it’s a concern for you or your partner, then you should talk about it. Men often like to move past things before woman do, especially if it’s something that they think shouldn’t be a big deal. When attending couples counselling with Wendy, expect to learn the differences between how men and woman approach problems.
How men process their emotions is often slower compared to women. When asked about how they feel about something, men often take their time and think about it first. Talking about your emotions is easy when talking to a professional couples counsellor. Take your time and don’t hide your emotions. If something about the relationship makes you feel angry or sad, then express it in the best way you can. Also, don’t hesitate to say to your therapist that you have a difficult time when talking about your emotions. A good couples therapist would never rush you and would even assist you in really communicating with emotions.
Couples often forget to admire each other, especially when they’ve been in the relationship for a long time. Ask yourself why you fell in love with your partner to begin with. Even though you’re going through a tough time now, keep admiration in mind. The couples counsellor will help you create a positive feedback loop which maintains the bond between you and your partner. Research shows that there needs to be a 5 to 1 ratio for a relationship to stay positive. You both need to do or say 5 positive things for every negative thing that happens or is said. This ratio is needed to keep that positive bond between the partners. When a fight ensues, this ratio gets thrown off and more negativity is said. When attending couples counselling with Wendy, you will receive the education you need to look at the positive instead of concentrating on the negative.
Look for Depression & Relationship Counselling Services to obtain great couples counselling in Windsor to help you and your partner resolve issues with your relationship and build a stronger bond with each other.