Something is not right but you can’t put your finger on it. Your partner has become detached, he/she is working late on a regular basis.You suspect that he/she may be having an affair, but every time you bring it up with your partner, he/she denies the possibility. You don’t have any proof, but all the signs are there. So, pay close attention to the signs and your instinct, but be wary not to confuse signs with proof.
1. “I love you but I’m not in love with you.”
This is one of the most consistent things an unfaithful partner will say. He/she may have a deep, loving bond with you but, but strong feelings of passion/infatuation for the other person can cause your partner to lose sight of his/her true feelings.
2. Emotional affairs
These occur via the phone, through text or Facebook or in person. If you find your spouse hanging up suddenly when you enter the room or erasing the history on the cell phone and becoming defensive when asked about it, then you might want to check phone records.
3. Regular work habits change.
Does your partner suddenly work late? Going at odd hours or, putting in more time than is normal on work related issues can be indications that a partner is unfaithful.
4. Behavior that just doesn’t add up.
Has your partner not been where he/she said they would be? Is their money that isn’t accounted for? Missing time they can’t explain. Receipts for things you don’t have. Did he/she change their appearance? Being caught in little lies about the details of the day is cause for concern.
5. A sudden need for privacy.
If things the two of you used to share openly suddenly become private pay attention. He/she may start password protecting computers, and cell phones and credit card bills may be hidden. If you ask why, you will be accused of snooping or trying to control your spouse.
6. Spending a large amount of time on the computer.
With today’s technology, a person looking for an affair doesn’t even have to leave their home. The ease of online dating sites, internet chats, and secret email accounts has caused an alarming increase in emotional affairs. If your spouse is online more than usual, hanging out in chat rooms and visiting pornographic websites then you have reason to be alarmed.
7. “We are just friends.”
If your partner is spending more and more time with a new “friend”; then there is probably more to it than mere friendship. Your spouse may feel they have a lot in common with this person, that this person understands them, and things they are going through.
8. Your Own fears and suspicions
Your intuition is frequently one of the best indicators that something is wrong. Do you find yourself trying to convince yourself that you must be crazy to think something is going on? If you suspect your spouse might be cheating on you, do some investigating and then talk to him/her about what you’ve found. Ask for honesty. And call Wendy Limarzi as soon as possible to minimize the damage.
9. “I need some space to figure out my feelings.”
People who are unfaithful will request time alone or away from the family, or just ask for “space.” They may say they need time to think over their feelings or they have stress at work. These can be attempts for the person to try to figure out ways to have more freedom.
If Your Spouse Cheated Will Your Marriage Survive?
Infidelity doesn’t mean your marriage must come to an end. The betrayal is emotionally painful, and trust has been lost, but I have helped plenty of couples come through affairs with their relationships stronger than before.