How to Keep Sexual Intimacy Burning in Long-Distance Relationships

Couples in long-distance relationships are often detached from the advantages of having one’s partner nearby. Hugs and kisses are packaged in emojis or GIFs. If your internet is erratic, the emotional validation you need sometimes comes a few seconds (or more) later. Even in a highly digital era, one challenge for couples separated by distance is sexual intimacy.

Sex is vital in building lasting relationships. More than being a pleasurable and stress-reducing activity, sex helps establish mutual trust and love in partners. In long-distance relationships (LDRs), extended periods of sexual deprivation can take a toll on a relationship’s health.

Here are a few challenges you are likely to encounter in a long-distance relationship:

  • Miscommunication

    – Miscommunication is a major challenge when couples live apart from each other. The inability to detect nonverbal cues from the other person can lead to misinterpretation.

  • Boredom

    – Couples frequently narrate the events of their day, rather than sharing the emotional reactions. Over time, this can make conversations stilted or dull, creating distance rather than generating closeness.

  • Jealousy

    – Jealousy is a natural emotion that can manifest when insecurity or lack of trust is present in a relationship. This can arise in LDRs when a person feels that their partner is spending more time with other people or on other activities.

  • Loneliness

    – With the absence of their significant other, there will be inevitable occasions where a cloud of loneliness will hover over partners separated by time and distance.

  • Lack of physical intimacy

    – One of the most significant challenges of LDRs is the lack of physical intimacy that comes from being apart. While the stereotypical worry would be of infidelity, the real danger is the lack of physical and emotional closeness that intimacy brings.

These issues can happen to any couple, regardless of the number of years spent together or apart. When left unaddressed, these challenges can eventually harm their emotional connection and douse their sexual intimacy.

You may be miles away from your loved one, but this does not mean it’s impossible to keep your intimacy ablaze. Below are some practical tips to satisfy each other’s sexual needs despite the vast difference in time and distance.

Always maintain open communication with your partner

Communicate

Constant communication is the essential ingredient to make your relationship flourish despite the distance. Try not to let a day pass without talking to your partner. Be open about anything and everything. Explore other topics outside of the mundane day-to-day happenings; talk about your dreams, goals, and other personal aspects of each other’s lives. Doing so will not only give you more things to talk about but will also allow you to get to know your partner on a deeper level.

As you shed off the layers, be more open about intimate topics to spice up your sexual attraction. How does your partner make you feel when you think about them? What do you want to do with your spouse the next time you see each other? Being open in this manner will help keep your passion alive until your next meeting, and will let the other person know how you feel about them.

Use all communication channels at your disposal when reaching out to your partner. Besides email and text messaging, there are other mediums you can leverage:

  • A handwritten letter

    – A letter you wrote yourself adds emotional meaning and intimacy to any message. Take the extra time to let your partner know that they are in your thoughts. Psychologists suggest that a letter written in blue ink conveys more warmth than any other ink colour.

  • Skype and FaceTime

    – These mobile video chat apps are an excellent avenue for interacting with your loved ones in real time, whether you’re on your way to work, doing the grocery, or relaxing in bed. Scheduling a time each week to speak with your partner will give both of you something to look forward to and will allow you to structure your week accordingly.

  • Voice messages

    – If you’re feeling a little extra, a sexy voice message using your turned-on voice can spice things up.

  • Send naughty gifts

    -Up the ante by sending an erotic movie/book, a sex toy, or lingerie to your partner.

Let your partner know that you’re thinking about them

Flirt

You don’t have to be with someone to flirt with them. Send your loved one a random photo or video of you in the shower or when you’re getting dressed. This will get you in the forefront of their mind. Add a quick message, like a simple “I miss you” or “I wish you were here to help me put these pants on.” It’s a sure way to put a smile on your partner’s face.

Phone sex helps release stress and improves a couple’s connection

Phone sex

Take advantage of modern technology to crank up your sex life if you’re in a long-distance relationship. Phone sex can relieve stress and draw partners closer than before.

Turning a simple conversation into a steamy one can be easy. You can initiate phone sex by asking what your partner is wearing or mentioning what you would do if you were right next to them. Intimate conversations can also open up new knowledge about what excites the other person, helping you to develop a love language and learn ways to satisfy your partner when you are next in person.

If dirty talk and phone sex don’t sit well with you, try initiating naughty chats and flirting with your partner to heighten your sexual mood.

Discuss your anxieties with your partner

Address Your Anxieties

Long-distance relationships can be challenging to manage at the onset. A stable connection can encounter difficulties when the other moves to another city. Different time zones can interfere with plans to connect. Given these strains, some friction is understandable. Let the other person know about your anxieties, even worries that may seem trivial. Communication is key.

However, sometimes the things you worry about when apart are masks for your own insecurity, loneliness, or other negative feelings. Identify the underlying emotions, and communicate them to your partner.

It takes patience to cultivate your relationship amid distance

Long-distance relationships take a great deal of patience and understanding to grow. Schedule your dates accordingly and where possible, try to remove distractions so you can both focus on spending quality time with each other. Be creative in planning your intimate moments, even if it’s just an uninterrupted video chat.

Long-distance relationships can sometimes be challenging. When you need a relationship counsellor in Windsor, Ontario who can lend a listening ear and sound advice, call Wendy Limarzi’s Depression & Relationship Counselling Services at (519) 253-1519, or use our online contact form to book an appointment.