What to Do When You’re Married to a Sex Addict
Behind the shadow of those struggling with sex addiction stand the often overlooked spouses. While their partners are seeking treatment, these people are often battling the overwhelming weight of their own ordeal. Spouses of sex addicts need the same care and attention given to the sex addicts themselves. However, they are often hesitant to reach out for the help and support they need.
If you are married to a sex addict, you may be suffering from feelings of shame and betrayal. Your partner may be on the road to recovery, but you deserve a chance to heal and move past the pain as much as they do.
Reach out
It’s natural for those who find themselves at the other end of deception and betrayal to withdraw from friends, family, and anyone else who may offer comfort. Isolation, however, is the last thing you need. It may be a herculean feat, but reaching out to others and building a network of support is one of the first steps towards healing.
Educate yourself
Often, partners of a sex addict may feel compelled to blame themselves for their partner’s actions, attributing the sex addict’s deviance to their own inadequacy. To eradicate these preconceived notions and misconceptions of sex addiction, educate yourself on this disorder. Doing so gives you the ability to support your partner during their recovery and empowers you to nurture your own well-being.
For advice, you can turn to a therapist for recommendations on resources. “Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal” by Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means is as excellent guide for healing from a relationship touched by sex addiction.
Seek counselling for yourself
Partners of sex addicts need a safe place to express their emotions. A therapist understands your trauma and can guide you through the ordeal. They can shed light and clarity on your situation, help you process your thoughts and emotions, and assist you in the process of healing.
Participate in relationship counselling
Relationship counselling is not advisable in the early stages of recovery, but is a necessary step when you and your spouse begin to work on restoring your relationship. A therapist serves as a mediator to help you discuss your issues calmly and constructively. This ultimately helps you and your partner reestablish the trust in the relationship and renew your bond.
Take time for self-care
Self-care is an essential part of recovery. Take a few minutes of your day to focus on yourself to promote healing. Exercise, read, go outside, or spend time on a hobby. By doing what you love, you embrace the opportunity to rediscover yourself, regain your confidence, and restore your strength and ability to help those around you, including your partner.
Be involved with your spouse’s treatment
Check in on your partner regarding their progress. Show them your concern and your support, allowing them to communicate their thoughts, fears, and struggles with you. Check in with their therapist to receive information on the status of your spouse’s treatment.
Being married to a sex addict can be difficult, but you don’t have to do it alone. Wendy Limarzi is an experienced counsellor that can help you cope with the post-traumatic stress and depression that comes with a partner’s sexual addiction.
For depression or relationship counselling in Windsor, Ontario, call (519) 253-1519 or email your inquiry today.